In colleges across the nation protesting students struggle to bring justice to an oppressive America. Racism, homophobia, xenophobia, genderism, culturally inappropriate Halloween costumes, and free speech are common sources of injustice. “It’s not easy to be a non-white, non-Christian, non-straight person in this country,” said a representative of the Filipino Student Union at Stanford University. And it's not easy bringing justice to rapists on campuses plagued by today's rape culture -- or to even debate the topic. Last year, when the role of culture in sexual assaults was to be debated at Brown University, the Sexual Assault Task Force, a student group, shamed the school's president into creating a “safe space” -- complete with cookies, coloring books, bubbles, Play-Doh, calming music, pillows, blankets, and a video of puppies -- to soothe students upset by open debate.
Much of the recent consternation stems from president-elect Donald Trump's promise to deport up to 3 million illegal aliens who have committed violent crimes while residing in the country. Following the lead of "sanctuary city" mayors such as Rahm Emanuel, of Chicago, and Bill De Blasio, of New York, who openly defy Mr. Trump's immigration policy, students now demand that "sanctuary campuses" be established. To this end, petitions are being circulated to protect students and school employees who lack the privilege of citizenship, from hostilities, aggressions, bullying, and the deportation squads that will swoop down upon them once Mr. Trump takes office. "In the Name of Humanity," read a Columbia University petition, "we refuse to accept a fascist America."
The defeat of Hillary Clinton constituted a heart-breaking loss to all of the forms of justice that students strive to defend. As such, Trump's victory left students fleeing to grief counselors and campus hate-free zones. Here they hold cry-ins, hug therapy dogs, cuddle Teddy Bears, and confront the harsh realities of American life, by reliving their kindergarten days with hot chocolate, Play-Doh and coloring books.
As any self-respecting progressive understands, all progressive causes are interrelated. As so succinctly stated by University of Massachusetts environmentalist group, Divest UMass, “There can be no climate justice without gender justice. There can no be gender justice without racial justice. There can no be racial justice without economic justice. There can be no economic justice without social justice.” Whatever injustice rears its ugly head, all of the various student protest groups unite to snuff it out.
Accordingly, Divest UMass has thrown its support behind Gender Liberation UMass (GLU), which has organized a "Shit-In" to promote “trans inclusivity and safety on campus.” The GLU will occupy campus rest-rooms until its demands are met. These include the "speedy implementation of gender-neutral restrooms campus-wide" and the “advancement of medically and socially competent in-house transgender health services," at the evidently backward University Health Services center. GLU also demands the hiring of a professor by the Department of Women, Gender, and Sexuality Studies. This individual, of course, must be an "expert in the field of critical transmisogyny from an intersectional perspective.”
With more than 200 gender-inclusive, single-user campus restrooms occupied by the enraged GLU movement, the Shit-In is expected to succeed -- unless its wafting stench provokes therapy dogs into barking fits, or attacks on students that the agitated canines find weeping uncontrollably at campus cry-ins.